so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize