do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
