I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
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Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
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Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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