We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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