AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
