In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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