on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
