I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
