i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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