When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
