Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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