Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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