after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You did what with his pubic hair?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
