The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have aggressive nipples.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
