omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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