May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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