Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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