I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
