this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
