Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
