I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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