I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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