Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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