I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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