Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
