I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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