i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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