when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
