YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
