like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
