Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
