if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
