I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The uberlube is also flammable
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
