I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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