Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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