when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
