perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
