i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
