It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
