if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
