we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
