i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
