Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
