Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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