New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
