Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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