Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
