I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
