I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
