yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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