Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
