I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
