I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
