Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
