He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
