It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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