i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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