How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
