He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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