Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize