3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
