I wish I could teleport
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
