Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
